A normal blog post

To avoid more doom and gloom I’m going to share my summer beauty tips with you. This only applies if you live in an area where the air turns to hot soup for five months straight, but I suppose could work elsewhere.

HAIR:

Wash and condition with whatever shampoo you want. Towel dry and apply your favorite leave-in product. Leave for work/school/errands/whatever and allow the outside air to turn your head into something that looks like one of those English angora rabbits. Repeat the next day or day after. Blow drying is futile.

MAKEUP:

Um, apply it? Sweat it all off. Reapply. Sweat more. Give up.

CLOTHES:

Whatever you want if you don’t plan on leaving a climate-controlled building. If you do, whatever you want. But you’ll probably want to show more skin and have extra shirts after you’ve sweated through the first one. No crocs, tevas, cargo shorts, etc. Don’t plan on keeping anything dry and try to hide your shame at all the sweat spots. This isn’t really a tip. If it was I’d say “go naked because nothing will keep you cool” but then you’d get arrested.

SHOES: Nothing with socks because you need to at least attempt to regulate body temperature.

In short, never leave your house until October.

You’re welcome.

 

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