The stress almost broke me. Literally.

A quick recap of the past few days as I haven’t written in a while:

My dad and his fiance were in town over the weekend, and it was nice. There was the usual amount of clashing personalities, plus my recent discovery of Tag’s cancer kind of put a damper on my mood and thus the weekend. But overall no complaints.

After I sent them on their way back to Ohio on Sunday I was doing normal things and my back went NOPE and I threw it out. Waddled around for a bit and went to take a muscle relaxer. Then I realized I needed to pick up Tag’s pain meds from the vet, so I had to do it right then before the meds kicked in.

PRO TIP: Do not drive right after throwing your back out. It hurts, and seemed to make things ten times worse.

From that point on, the drugs barely helped and the pain got worse. I couldn’t sit, stand, or lie comfortably in any position, and barely slept. I woke up still in pain the next morning with the intent to call my doctor, but after taking a simple shower became a production I decided I couldn’t wait and went to the ER.

I felt kind of silly because it wasn’t exactly an emergency, and I have a tendency to invalidate my own illnesses and to tell myself to “suck it up,” but thankfully that only manifested itself in that I drove myself to the ER–probably not the best idea. But I couldn’t face a Lyft driver in the state I was in and wanted to feel more in control.

So they gave me a muscle relaxer and shot me up with something else for the pain and I was on my way.

The only funny thing was, when the doctor walked in she looked at me and goes, “you look uncomfortable.” Uh, yeah. That’s why I’m here, lady. Didn’t think it was a spa.

Thankfully I have a great friend who picked up my drugs and brought me ice cream sandwiches later that day. ❤   They did the trick, because I’m still sore but better today. I still stayed home and worked from here, in case I needed the drugs, which was a good call. I’m going to try to get to the office tomorrow. I’ll be sure to blog if I need to take my pain meds because the content should be amazing.

People have asked what caused my back to freak out like that, and I know it is mainly from the amount of stress I’ve been in lately. My body reacts to stress, depression, anxiety, all of it, in certain ways and I’m sure it was so tense that any slight twist in the wrong way just sent it over the edge. Speaking of what’s been going on….

Tag update:  So far he’s doing okay. Not as perky as he used to be, but then I wouldn’t be either with a tumor in my mouth. He seems to be having a wee bit more trouble with his dry food, though he still wants it which is a good sign. Looks like I’ll be making kibble soup from here on out.

Originally I had scheduled a day to send him to Valhalla, as I’ll call it, but I backed out of that as he’s doing okay. It was easier (for lack of a better word) to do that for Java because he was obviously struggling. Not that I plan to make Tag get to that point before I let go, but it’s not time. Not for him or me. My vet reassured me that I’m very attuned to him, so I’ll know when it’s time. Trusting in her judgment, which has been pretty solid so far. Thanks to the funds from friends I was able to restock his pain meds, so now I watch and wait and give him extra love and treats until he lets me know.


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