This is not a good brain day. I have a few guesses as to what’s really behind it, but what I know for sure is that I feel like everything is an opening for filling in blanks with negative self-talk and worst-case-scenario stories. No matter which way I turn, something conspires to punch me in the gut. All I want to do is go home and turtle under a blanket with the cat (who’ll leave after only a few minutes of snuggles, no doubt). I’m even considering canceling a get-together I was having this weekend.
At least I am getting a lot accomplished at work. (But I place little significance on my day job accomplishments…SEE? THERE I GO AGAIN.)
I don’t even know what else to write. I missed my cat a lot last night (2 months exactly since he’d passed). I feel lonely and unlovable. I’m pretty sure my other cat has to go back on insulin (appointment for him on Saturday), which if so would for sure squash some travel plans I had been debating for the summer. I can never feel like I’m quite on top of things. And it’s supposed to snow this weekend. I need a vacation from life.